2014考研英語寫作160篇:水資源短缺(考生作文批改及評分)_跨考網(wǎng)

　　寫作原文

　　What a thought-provoking picture!In the picture ,many people who are taking bowls are rapidly running to the death ,and everyone is urgently hoping to get some water ,but the death seems to be seriously weak because of lacking water(加逗號)too .Undoubtly(拼寫錯誤，改為Undoubtedly) ,we all konw(拼寫錯誤，改為know) the water is very important to humanity ,and the lack of water sources is becoming increasingly serious problem(去掉problem，該句話意思為“水資源的短缺變得越來越嚴(yán)重”) in zhe(拼寫錯誤，改為the) moder(拼寫錯誤，改為modern) society .Indeed ,on the earth ,there exist(改為exists) a lot of water ,including the river ,the sea and the water under the earth ,bue(拼寫錯誤，改為but) there is a phenomenon of water shortage ,why ? On(改為For，注意for one thing為固定用法;不要將其與on one hand弄混淆) one thing ,we can not(改為don’t，僅表示否定，而can not表示“不能”) make use of all water on the earth ,such as the water in the sea .On(改為For) another ,with the developmeng(改為development) of society ,people need more and more water to promote the economy(為什么發(fā)展經(jīng)濟(jì)需要越來越多的水呢?有什么依據(jù)?注意寫作中的論據(jù)一定要有說服力) ,and the pollution of water is becoming an increasingly serious problem .And above all ,people do not have an awareness of protecting water sources .In order to ease this problem ,various steps have to be adapted(改為adopted，注意區(qū)分adopt和adapt，前者為“采取”，后者為“適應(yīng)”) and both the government and everyong(改為everyone) could not shirk their accountability .Firstly ,the government should make relevang(拼寫錯誤，改為relevant) laws and regulationgs(拼寫錯誤，改為regulations) to protect water .And then ,what shuold(拼寫錯誤，改為should,且should應(yīng)放在we之后，切記：從句均要用陳述語序) we do is very simple ,(中間應(yīng)加連詞)everyone do not waste water (可將這句話改為what we should do is that everyone cannot waste water, which is very simple).I am firmly convinced that under people'(改為people’s)efforts the problem will be solved and we will have a good future .

　　總體點評

　　考研英語作文的整體思路你已經(jīng)基本掌握，但文中還存在個別簡單的問題，比如：文中的單詞拼寫錯誤較多，這些錯誤可能是由于作者在電腦輸入過程中造成的，以后應(yīng)該注意，無論是手寫版還是電子版，都應(yīng)該保證單詞的準(zhǔn)確。其次，建議作者加強(qiáng)語句組織能力，多積累并模仿經(jīng)典語句，不斷提高自己的寫作能力。建議作者在寫作完之后花費幾分鐘時間來回讀文章，這樣便會減少不必要的錯誤。加油吧，祝你考研成功!

　　參考分?jǐn)?shù)(滿分20分)：11

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